There was an old lady that smells of wee

There was an old lady that smells of wee, it’s me you see, when I’m 63;

That won’t happy to me, I’m not going to smell of pee, not me, you’ll see.

There are many medical conditions that cause incontinence in men and women, which is both sad and distressing for everyone involved. But I am telling you now for free, I am not going to be weeing my knickers because my pelvic floor muscles are knackered. Oh no.  I have been quite good with the exercises, and I can jump up and down on a trampoline quite safely, but I do not do fifty squeezes and lifts every day and there has been the odd moment of slight concern when laughing or sneezing. I discovered that I am not alone in preparing for the future and found some exercise balls on Amazon. Now, please don’t go thinking that I mean Anne Summers, I do not. These little balls come with weights that apparently work miracles. However, 2 months on they are still in the box.  I met an old school friend recently who threw her Aquaflex balls in the bin a few weeks ago, still in the box, unopened after five years!!

My Primary School reunion night was fabulous and great to catch up with old friends.  I love my new friends too that I have met through Charlotte. A lot of them are just reaching the big FOUR 0, now or have a few years leading up to it. I am pretty jealous as my next big birthday will be Fifty – maybe I will make the Villa in Ibiza in 2019 for hard-core partying. That had been the plan for my 40^th, but my world changed when this amazing little person entered my life – so instead of dancing all night long I was coming to grips with breastfeeding, changing nappies and a different kind of sleep deprivation. 

I do have friends that have hit the 40 and have chosen not to have children or are pretty relaxed about it. I was absolutely obsessed and would not have stopped at anything for a child.  I think I would have robbed a bank if it would have given me a baby. For years, I dreamt of a babe in my arms and was pregnant for around four years before Charlotte entered the world. I did have a period of a year when despite falling pregnant easily three times, nothing happened. My fertility levels were high, Ben obviously had swimmers that could hit the mark, but month after month my friggin period arrived! I took my temperature, peed on ovulation sticks, Googled all day long, joined chat forums, had more tests, had therapy, had acupuncture, yet still could not get friggin pregnant and it really was breaking my heart.  I was so sad, that after years and years of turning my back on the Church, I decided to go back, with Ben, to put some peace back into my life and maybe faith would help me with my baby dream. The first time we went to the Church, St Matthews in Surbiton the sermon was about a lady that was baron. She was sad and desperate like me and made a promise with God that if he were to bless her with a baby, she would ensure that her child grew up around the church and would spread the world. Lo and behold, this lady fell pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy whose life was surrounded by love and gratitude to God.  Well, that is what I would do. I made my mind up and prayed every single night to the man upstairs to give me a child and I promised in return that my son or daughter would be bought up as a Christian. Apart from Ben, no one knows this until now. I am pleased we made that choice as whether it’s all a load of BS or not, it has helped Charlotte learn some pretty decent values in life. I will chill out about it as there are so many nice things to do in special family time on a Sunday, but I will keep my promise as am grateful to the amazing gift that I received back in July 2009, whether it had anything to do with my faith or not.