It's my Birthday and I'll cry if I want to

I woke up to my four year old ripping open my cards and presents and singing Happy Birthday to herself.    She even managed to be the centre of attention during the evening of my 22 x 2 birthday celebrations by giving herself a haircut and then having a complete meltdown whilst running around with a big clump of ginger curls in her hand. God, she is a little sod but boy, I do love her.

The previous week, my super fit husband managed to look even more gorgeous and foxy after completing the 100 mile London Bike Ride. I reckon I burned even more calories and pulled more muscles carrying the Ginger One on my shoulders walking through the Surrey countryside trying to catch a glimpse of Benny Boy on his wheels around Box Hill.  We did see him chasing Boris Johnson (and eventually beating him by more than an hour, Yay).

I took Charlotte on a train ride to London to meet Daddy after the Bike race. Jesus, that was embarrassing.  She did some kind of Sporty Spice super flip getting on the grain and was caught in the arms of an absolute hunk whilst flashing her bum.  She then took a shine to a geek that I thought was superman in disguise and decided to land in his lap after a head stand.  But the worst part of this horrendous journey was when a guy boarded the train and Charlotte commented very loudly that he had a large nose.  When I told her off, she just said in a tone like a fog horn, “but Mummy, he has the biggest nose I have ever seen in my life”.  He may have looked like a gang member from the ‘hood but thankfully he got off the train at Vauxhall without pulling out a knife and stabbing me.

I sometimes think that I am not cut out for motherhood. Charlotte and I are best of friends and we have so much fun but we spend about 50% of our time screaming at each other.  I must not let her mirror my behaviour and we have made a pact to be nice to each other with shouting banned from our house.  Well, she started it. Na na na na na. Poor Benny Boy. He spends so much of his time peace-making between us and the phrase he uses often is a good one: “Don’t negotiate with a terrorist”.