My God, she is only four years old yet she had a birthday gathering with some of her closest chums fit for a Footballer’s Wife, is due a graduation ceremony at her nursery complete with mortar boards and certificates and a summer season full of parties. This is more full-on than when I was back in the Ibiza living the dream in the 90’s.
I visited the school she starts in September at the parents’ evening. It was a bit odd as everybody seemed to be best buddies. “What about me? Help. Don’t ignore me, I’m lovely”. One little man did feel sorry for me as he seemed to be following me around. The three reception teachers are all lovely and Ben asked me to describe them. One is a grown up Girl Guide, one looks like a bundle of fun (not said sarcastically) and the other looked very prim and proper and is probably a lap dancer at the weekend. Guess who’s class Charlotte is in? Yes, the lap dancer. Benny Boy is a bit excited about that and is acting like a horny teenager that has been caught with his pants down. Well, he has to get his kicks from somewhere.
The Teacher was meant to come round on Tuesday evening for a home visit but she bloody well stood us up! A no show.. It happens to me all the time working in recruitment. When candidates fail to turn up without the courtesy of a phone call usually it’s because their Granny has died. I think one week around ten grannies kicked the bucket. Bless them and that old chestnut.
Anyhow, the Teacher not turning up was a bit of a disappointment. Poor Charlotte wouldn’t go to sleep in case she arrived. Well, Mrs J, did you give yourself a detention for that naughty behaviour? One hundred lines? The cane, woops, I had better not mention that to Benny Boy in case he can’t control himself.
I am very sad that Charlotte will be leaving nursery after almost four years. She will be leaving her safe little bubble to enter the Big Bad World. The pleasure has cost us around £42,000 (ouch) but I must say it has been worth every penny. The nursery has fed her milk from a bottle, seen her crawl and walk for the first time, heard her first words and given her lots of cuddles and mopped her brow during various bugs and the Pox. It has been her second home and I think I am going to blub forever when she leaves. Is she ready for school? Hell, yeah but she will miss her bested buddies. She has grown up with little Aoife, they are as close as twins and she loves little Sophie that looks like butter wouldn’t melt (but the two of them manage to scare the entire congregation of St Martin’s church). She lives her boyfriend Zaki but says she won’t marry him yet as he has not bought her a ring and being married is horrible. Woops, Benny Boy and I must be nicer to each other and not ruck so much about whose turn it is to take out the bins!
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