Does Your Mother Know?

 It has been over a week since mad Lisa’s hen weekend and its taken that long to recover! What a laugh we had. Friday night in DYMK – Does Your Mother Know – a great bar in Bournemouth was eye opening. The DJ was a crass but likeable Drag Queen, the place was full of nice boys, transvestites and lipstick lesbians.  I had fun trying to work out if the transvestites were pre or post op and being jealous of their long slim legs. 

Saturday was shopping day – and oh what fun I had without my two year old clinging on to my ankles or asking for a wee wee or a Mackie Dee.  It was such a relaxing day and gave us time to recover from all of the shots and vodkas from the night before. I felt like a “lady that lunches” sitting in the Dorset sun.

Saturday night was a little bit mad and Lisa was on great form and a stunning hen!  The rest of us went out in bunny ears and dicky bow ties, which was quite tame compared to other “henettes” that we crossed paths with during the night including school girls and burlesque babes.

The Adonis show was a typical cheap and cheerful cabaret. It was a little bit tacky, but did we give a toss? No, but the nudey wudey men did give a toss or two to give their floppy member a helping hand. It was quite erotic actually and left me feeling a bit hot under the collar. The strippers were pretty damn foxy and the place was loud with large groups of cackling women wanting to see the full monty. I didn’t realise that full monty meant EVERYTHING.  I have never seen anything like it. Oh, what fun and most importantly Mad Lisa loved it!

The club afterwards was exactly what I imagined – it stunk of wet dogs and the girls that had exited the Adonis show were joined by some horny men that had spent the evening at the comedy club next door. Music was cheesier than my favourite macaroni dish and very loud – oh, god I am getting old.  We had so much fun though and fellas still tried to pull us – even though our gang are mostly over 40 or pretty close to it.  One of the girls got pretty offended because a guy outside smoking had guessed her to be a year older than what she is, then dug the whole deeper by saying she looks a spitting image of Kim Cattrell – who is at least ten years older. To put the final nail in the coffin, he put his hand to her knickers to “twang” what he thought would be a thong, but in fact was a nice big pair of Bridget Jones specials! 

We have vowed to have a weekend away more often, that would be fun if I can handle the pace.