Young Ashleigh at work thought it would be fun if I made friends on Facebook with a young hot model called David that appeared recently on Paddy's dating show. David had already accepted Ashleigh as a friend, but she is young and gorgeous so why would he accept my friend request when I am a middle aged not very yummy mummy? Well, he did! Wahoo!! Even though he has about two thousand and seven hundred friends including other desperate housewives, I am still chuffed to pieces. I am feeling full of life and raring to be let loose in Bournemouth for Mad Lisa's hen weekend which starts today.
Outfits, perfumes and lots of lip gloss packed. Legs shaved. Nails done. Toes painted... I am now raring to go. I have kissed Ben and little Charlotte goodbye. Farewell until Sunday and am now Karen, not Mum or Wifey, actually I am not even Karen, I will be known by my alias of Foxy this weekend! Wow, it has been a long time since I have felt Foxy!! Ha Ha! Lock up your sons, or Dads or Grandads!! Only joking Darling Husband if you are reading this.
I am doubly excited, as my lovely friend was 8cm dilated at 10am this morning and I can't wait for those little twins to arrive!
Have a good weekend everyone and I will be back soon when my hangover has passed!!
Friday, 20 April 2012
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
WTF
I saw a boy I once knew at the local carvery restaurant at the weekend as I was ordering an extra large plate of meat and sausages, piled high with 2 Yorkshire puddings and loads of spuds and veg. I have not seen this guy since the mid 90s. He looks absolutely fab and the years have been very kind to him. Me, on the other hand has jelly belly wobbles, a big spot on my face and I was about to gorge myself in a mountain of food fit for King Henry 8th. He didn't see that I gave away the yorkshires (yuk) and that left a hefty pile of food on my plate. Yes, my eyes were bigger than my very large belly. This has kick started my diet once gain so if I bump into Mr Dove again, I will not look like such a middle aged Hefferlump.
The countdown is on now for Mad Lisa's hen night but I have only four days left to look slim and foxy. I had better get to M&S for a panty girdle. I am now very much looking forward to going away and I think Ben and Charlotte will be just fine without me.
I have had a fun week. I've been ranting on Facebook about "Dad's Only" mornings at one of the playgroups in Epsom. I would have loved to watched Charlotte at football training, but felt sorry that some of the kiddies couldn't play fooite that day due to absent Fathers,. That makes me feel sad. When I asked the Centre if little Albie and Little Zaki could attend the football with their Mums, I was told to find a Grandad or Uncle. GGGRRRR.
Work was brilliant. I am flying high in the competition to be taken to the Grand Prix, but there's still another month or so to go, so time for it all to fall part for me and its pretty tight. We work hard in the office and have little banter as the priority is to make placements but we did reminisce about my colleague Jackie's appearance on Crack-O-Jack in 1977. Young Ashleigh had not even heard of it, well she has a good excuse as was not born until '88. "Its Friday, its five past five.....". Number 1 at the time was Boogie Nights by Heatwave. God that makes me feel old (sorry God). Especially as Englebert Humperdink or whatever the old codger is called was also in the charts. Enough said.
The countdown is on now for Mad Lisa's hen night but I have only four days left to look slim and foxy. I had better get to M&S for a panty girdle. I am now very much looking forward to going away and I think Ben and Charlotte will be just fine without me.
I have had a fun week. I've been ranting on Facebook about "Dad's Only" mornings at one of the playgroups in Epsom. I would have loved to watched Charlotte at football training, but felt sorry that some of the kiddies couldn't play fooite that day due to absent Fathers,. That makes me feel sad. When I asked the Centre if little Albie and Little Zaki could attend the football with their Mums, I was told to find a Grandad or Uncle. GGGRRRR.
Work was brilliant. I am flying high in the competition to be taken to the Grand Prix, but there's still another month or so to go, so time for it all to fall part for me and its pretty tight. We work hard in the office and have little banter as the priority is to make placements but we did reminisce about my colleague Jackie's appearance on Crack-O-Jack in 1977. Young Ashleigh had not even heard of it, well she has a good excuse as was not born until '88. "Its Friday, its five past five.....". Number 1 at the time was Boogie Nights by Heatwave. God that makes me feel old (sorry God). Especially as Englebert Humperdink or whatever the old codger is called was also in the charts. Enough said.
Sunday, 8 April 2012
Jim'll Fixit
So, when Tom Jones turns around on The Voice and sees a menopausal woman, how disappointed is he? Or can he tell before pressing the buzzer that he's not going to be dealing with a young hot chick? In some cases Tom doesn't even know if he will be facing a guy or a doll? But does he honestly want to choose facial hair, hot flushes and mood swings?
I say the facial hair as I have notices more since I've become a Mum and as a blond, I thought I could get away with it. Is it there because I've become a Mum or is it just that I am over forty/passed it/over the hill? Charlotte just says it how it is. "Mummy. Beard." Nothing gets away from my daughter's beady eyes. The other day in the bathroom she asked, "Mummy, what colour is your minny moo moo?"
I have been having more strange dreams. Is that due to raging hormones? I dreamt that I had snogged Jimmy Saville. Sir Jim, you were and are a legend and no offence meant, but in my dream it was a past even so thank goodness there was no lip smacking/tongue sandwich action. That would be just gross.
I say the facial hair as I have notices more since I've become a Mum and as a blond, I thought I could get away with it. Is it there because I've become a Mum or is it just that I am over forty/passed it/over the hill? Charlotte just says it how it is. "Mummy. Beard." Nothing gets away from my daughter's beady eyes. The other day in the bathroom she asked, "Mummy, what colour is your minny moo moo?"
I have been having more strange dreams. Is that due to raging hormones? I dreamt that I had snogged Jimmy Saville. Sir Jim, you were and are a legend and no offence meant, but in my dream it was a past even so thank goodness there was no lip smacking/tongue sandwich action. That would be just gross.
Sunday, 1 April 2012
Total Eclipse of the News
Total Eclipse of the News - that's what Ben shouted out as I bent down to pick up some toys in front of the telly as he watched the News at Ten. Flipping cheek. He thinks he is so funny. Ha Ha. Revenge was very sweet.
That night I dreamt that I was snogging the face of an ex-boyfriend, Giles. I haven't seen him for more than ten years. He was the only guy I dated that was pretty loaded. Nights out included black cabs and swanky restaurants in Chelsea. He had properties dripping out of his ears and as a Financial Consultant he advised me to purchase a second property. Well, I took that advice, made a tidy sum which paid for my beautiful fairytale wedding at Leeds Castle to the love of my life, my Benny Boy. So, Giles take that and stick it where the sun don't shine and though it was nice, please don't turn up and snog me again in my dreams.
That night I dreamt that I was snogging the face of an ex-boyfriend, Giles. I haven't seen him for more than ten years. He was the only guy I dated that was pretty loaded. Nights out included black cabs and swanky restaurants in Chelsea. He had properties dripping out of his ears and as a Financial Consultant he advised me to purchase a second property. Well, I took that advice, made a tidy sum which paid for my beautiful fairytale wedding at Leeds Castle to the love of my life, my Benny Boy. So, Giles take that and stick it where the sun don't shine and though it was nice, please don't turn up and snog me again in my dreams.
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