Movember

I have grown a moustache for November, well not really it's just that my face is very hairy and could pass for an impressive tash. Thank heavens I am blond but it is a bit depressing as I get older. Another symptom of the menopause countdown/.  Electrolosis hurt like hell and I would rather eat my own poo than wax my face so my new best friends are tweezers and scizzors. On this note, I would like to congratulate all the men with hairy faces that have raised money and awareness for men's health. Marcus from X Factor looks so cute.  What a great cause. Well done guys.

Hissy Fits

I seem to be shouting and moaning a lot more at my husband, Benny Boy. Are these mood swings due to the pre-menopause? No, they're likely to be caused by one of the following:-

a) My husband is a lazy shit
b) Tiredness
c) Sadness/strain/financial worries

Having a child late in life has been a blessing but I do miss having a tidy house, time to myself and some disposable income.  Yes, it has effected my relationship with Benny Boy and there are more strops and tantrums.  A date, let alone rumpy pumpy is not high on the agenda. Why can't life be simple? I want it all - my lovely little family, quality time, romance, wealth and feeling energised at all times.

Jason Orange

So, I hear you say, what's Jason Orange got to do with the pre-menopause? A lot actually. Hot in the news this week is the story of Jason dating Comedienne Catherine Tate.  She is funny and beautiful and a 43 year old Mum. There's hope for me then.  I love my Benny Boy (hubby) but I have always had the hots for Jase ever since I snogged an Ibizenco Jason Orange Look-e-likey circa 1996 in the swimming pool at the Aquarium nightclub in London. I have been on  a mission to try pulling the real thing. So, Jason if you get bored of Catherine trying to be funny, please give me a call.

Weight for me.....

So, the menopause or pre-menopause can make you gain weight, well that's my excuse.  The fact is when you are over 40 it's simply harder to lose.  It's been over two years since I gave birth to my only child so it really is time to get rid of the jelly belly. I've tried endless diets that last about two days, so this time I am trying Slimming World with the girls in the office.  We all want to lose weight and have enough information about Slimming World to do it ourselves with a weekly weigh in at Nelson House. 

We're going for the Extra Easy option. Hold on a minute, this can't be right.  You can eat as much protein, vegetables, fruit, pasta, rice as you like plus a bit of diary for calcium and a handful of fibre.  Basically you can't eat any fat or sugar unless you get a craving and then you can have that treat as a Syn????  We shall see about that.  I think I'll just go and have ten potatoes, five tins of beans and a bit mountain of steak with a lettuce on top.

Men-On-Pause

Menopause, menstruate, mental. Men do get a mid-life crisis too and one of the symptoms men appear to have is desperately trying to hang on to their youth by buying new toys! I recently saw a lot of grey hair flying in the wind beneath helmets above Harley Davidsons and other impressive motorbikes. I even saw a few ponytails! David Seaman got away with it but even he resembled a seventies porn star. A friend of mine recently had an internet date and was advised via email that the gentleman in question had bought a new car as a result of a mid-life crisis. She looked forward to being picked up in a Ferrari or even a Porche or MGF. Kate was disapponted with the Diesel BMW. Yes, an impressive car but it stunk suspiciously of a Dad Cab! My husband is five years my junior, so yes a toy boy! Perhaps he will sympathise with my menopause madness if he has some raging hormones of his own.

The Big Change

When I was a young girl and my Mum was going through the menopause, it seemed like a very taboo subject. Whispers of "the change" were overheard and I remember talk of hot flushes and mood swings. Mum's supply of sanitary products vanished. Back then Mums were proper middle aged and frumpy, or so I remember. I wouldn't have been seen dead in any of my Mum's dresses that looked like they matched the curtains. Today, a lot of women my age still dress like teenagers; shopping in New Look, Hennes, Top Shop & Co. The reason I am writing my blog is because I think I am starting the menopause.& Yes, I am a little on the young side at 42, but not many people know about the pre-menopause and that the whole process can take about 10 years. So perhaps I am in that period. Am I doomed? Is my life over? Is Middle-agedom here?& No - who needs periods anyway? Pain every month, stress every month, tiredness every month. It is such an inconvenience.