“Have you
had a hysterectomy?” That is the question we would love to be able to ask when
interviewing for our own office if it was politically correct. We just can’t consider another menopausal
chick with mood swings and dodgy periods!
Ha Ha! We are actually getting a geezer and he’s ginger too which is
absolutely fab for me and my love of all things orange. But what will we talk
about in our little moments of banter? We will no longer be able to moan about
men, sex/lack of it or pelvic floor problems and smear tests. Oh dear.
Life before
Centre Parks was getting dull. A week of telly, well one night actually,
consisted of me crying over bear cubs, grossed out by Siamese twins joined at
the head and sharing all bodily functions and absolutely baffled by men and
their lady boys! Gay or not gay? Well,
these creatures are super attractive but they still have willies!
Centre
Parks was fun and a great holiday for Charlotte Bear. I loved being super fit
for one week by cycling, swimming, badminton and cha-cha-ing at Zumba. Now I am
back sat on my lardy arse all day in front of a screen trying to recruit
financial services professionals.
One of my
holiday highlights was on the way home. Charlotte
needed a wee so we stopped in Richmond
Park and she did her
watering of the grass behind a big tree. During that brief moment I managed to
lose the car keys and Benny Boy was stuck in the Ford Focus having a bit of a
panic attack. It was very funny and I wish he could have been locked in there
for hours or even days rather than minutes whilst I went off and had a nice
time with Charlotte.
That would have been blissful and the perfect punishment for his lazy slobby
ways.
I am proud
of my Benny Boy truly and he is still teetotal whilst now training for the London 100 cycle
race. I think he’s having a bit of a
mid-life crisis. He never did any fitness with me during my healthy life BG
(Before Ginger). He’s become obsessed even eating yoghurt for breakfast and
weighing himself every day. He better not have a mistress or I will literally
chop off some of his body parts – hey that would lose him a few pounds when he
next steps on the scales.
Anyhow, he
admitted that he is scared of falling off the wagon in case the booze causes an
Amy Winehouse style early death. What a wally!
A few cans of Fosters are hardly the same as a hardcore alcoholic that
also had a big time drug problem. It’s sweet though and if that is what
motivates him to stay dry, then that’s a good thing. Bless him and bless the
wonderfully talented and beautiful Amy.
