The Girl is back in town.....

I want the life of Mrs Jones, my Friday night dream. She has got rid of her lazy arse husband, snogs her son’s oh-so-gorgeous mate (Billy’s eyes are to die for) and even has one of the Dads from the school gates going gaga over her. Okay, so the Dad is a total bell-end but he’s handsome and he fancies Mrs Jones.  She’s skinny, youthful and attractive and she’s 41. I would love to get some male attention, preferably from my husband, but if not him, anyone!  As long as it’s a red blooded male and at least a little bit hot that’s all that matters. I am craving romance.

Maybe botox and liposuction will help. Blue skies and sunshine would be nice. SAD syndrome is not attractive. Gloomy and dull is not sexy and my mood is matching the weather.

I have fun at the Emirates Stadium watching the Arsenal. How I used to crave a kid to take during my baron years as a goner.  I was a lone Arsenal fan during the nineties and noughties. I would stand next to a random child and sing football songs hoping nobody would notice that I was a dribbly-billy-no-mates.  All fellow Gooner buddies had long since grown up and found other interests. Yet my passion for red and white from my childhood days just never went way. That was until my own red haired beauty, Charlotte arrived in the world.

Well, my passion for Arsenal is back and I even found it touching that the result on Saturday was 1 nil to the Arsenal.

Arsenal Arsenal Arsenal

Help. I have SAD Syndrome!! Fifty Shades of Grey - I wish! There is just one shade of grey for the sky at the moment. Its damp, it’s miserable and I have not seen blue sky and sunshine for over a week. Is it the end of the world?

I have just about recovered from giving a speech at my sister’s wedding and making the big KT Cunstall Gaff. Sorry lass – you are great but I got my K’s in a twist as well as my knickers. Little Charlotte tried hard to steal the show at such a beautiful event; she flirted with all of the boys especially the photographer, she pulled off the buds of her flowers after about five seconds, got grass stains all over her pretty tights and dress and rugby tackled the beautiful bride and managed to get her to fall on her bum in her finery.

Jimmy Saville has managed to monopolize the news for the last month. What an absolute disgrace that was. I wrote to Dear Jim’ll when I was 10 with my best friend Sally. We wanted to host a chimpanzee tea party.  Thank goodness our request was declined. What I don’t understand is why these people did not come forward when he was alive! I can understand the vulnerable girls not speaking out, but what about all the people in authority? BBC Chiefs, medical professionals, charity chiefs, managers of schools – shame on you!!

I am still stressing about Charlotte going to school next year.  What on earth am I going to re work? How I long to be at the school gates to pick up my little terror.  Its life now I suppose so I shall just have to suck it and see.

I am watching the Arsenal tomorrow with my little nephew Luca; my first game in four years. I was up the duff last time I cheered on the Gunners.  My love of Arsenal (Ben aside) was the absolute passion of my life!  Liam Brady, Frank Stapleton, Charlie Nicholas and later on Bergkamp, Ian Wright and Thierry Henry. I probably can’t name more than three players now – little Luca will have to educate me.

My love affair with Arsenal began around 1979. I fell in love with Highbury, the long walk from Highbury Corner to the ground and the old men selling hot nuts.  My Pop Pops used to drive up there with half the kids in the street. I think it cost £3 to get into the North Bank.  I can still hear the noise now the moment I stepped out overlooking the pitch.  Those were happy days. Charlotte says she supports Arsenal – even though the kit will clash with her red hair. I hope I get the opportunity to take her to some games when she is a little bit older. For tomorrow, I will enjoy shouting from the terraces with Luca – lets just hope it’s a goal fest! I am so excited.